Too often, people accept mediocrity and barely adequate experiences in their sex lives. From bad lube to poorly fitting condoms, an intimate experience is built from the ground up, and disregard of the basic pillars of building an enjoyable experience are overlooked. To put it bluntly, people aren’t getting the most out of their sex lives because they don’t care. And that sucks! Bad experiences lead to negative associations with one of the most enjoyable parts of life. In this article, I’ll be lending my expertise and insight as an Adult Store employee, and guiding your sex life to a more enjoyable experience from the ground up.
Wrap it before you tap it. Wear a rubber, protect your blubber. Don’t be silly, wrap your willy. I could go on, but for your sake (and mine, to be fair) I won’t. Condoms, for most sexual encounters, are an essential part to ensure your (and your partners) safety, and as much as condoms can detract from a sexual experience, I can assure you the positives outweigh the negatives when it comes to wearing one. I’ll be honest, when I first started buying condoms, the experience was a daunting one. All those colours, vaguely lewd pictures, and oddly non-descript product types melting my brain, as I stood in the cosmetics aisle in Coles. Studded, ribbed, form fit, flavoured, I stood confused and a lot less confident in my ability to buy a packet of something that should be easy. Regardless of how blindly hopeful my chubby teenage self may have been in buying condoms, the experience was still not an easy one, and having a faceless moral guide online probably would have helped me to extents I could never repay. And even if you’ve had your share of experiences with condoms, there’s still a good chance you’re not fully optimising your pleasure.
This one is the most intuitive, but also the most difficult to figure out, because it involves my least favourite subject from high school; maths. Every condom packet, as vague as ‘King Sized’ or ‘Form Fitting’ may be, has on it, a numerical measurement in millimeters of the diameter of the condoms inside. To work this out, whip out (pun intended) a string & ruler, or fabric measuring tape, and then while erect, measure the circumference (by wrapping the string or fabric measuring tape around your shaft), and then half that measurement. That is going to be close enough to your nominal width, or the flat width of the condoms you’re looking for. You don’t want to be stretching anything, but also you don’t want anything hanging loose while you’re trying to get down to business, so finding the condom closest to your width is imperative to an enjoyable time. Once you’ve found what fits, you can indulge yourself (and your partner) with the more interesting condoms, and taking steps to get something ribbed, ridged, dotted or flavoured can only make things more interesting. Something to note: too often, people with penises are caught up in the size of their business, and as the saying goes, “it’s not the size, it’s how you use it”, and my addition, “it’s how comfortable you feel”. Good sex comes down to confidence, and making sure everything is for both or all parties involved, including yourself. Don’t be selfish, and don’t be selfless. After that, I believe good sex is just about having fun, so in the end, size matters least.
Variations & Preference
Obviously, like all products, there’s an array of different styles, patterns, colours, etc., and with these variations, come a preference for a certain style or pattern. Take your time in learning what works best for you and your partner. Try different brands, and find what gets your business bumping best.
Things are about to get slippery. Lube, as simple as it may seem, plays an integral role in most sexual encounters. In fact, 50% of people say lube helps them orgasm! As I type this, I sit in front of a somewhat intimidating lube wall, and for the inexperienced, I could imagine they would reach for the stuff they see on the Coles shelves, unaware of the potential benefits they could be reaping by coming into a sex shop and gettin’ learned real good about the wonders of a good lube. Again, similar to condoms, this choice is realistically personal preference, but most condoms don’t actually vary that much, and lube has such variety that there are fundamentally better lubes. Pjur, for example, is a leading brand when it comes to good quality lube. Made in Germany (the same place as the wonderful Fun Factory toys), Pjur is a premium brand that makes a quality product. Unlike inferior lubes, Pjur stays slick, never reaching that gross, tacky, almost sticky texture that we all hate. Pjur also accommodates for just about everyone, with specific products for vegans, those with sensitive skin, along with anal specific lube, and leather & latex slicking lube. The list goes on. Most sex shops offer a very wide array of lubes, specific for sex, foreplay, toys, anal, amongst others, and finding whats best for you is as easy as striking up a conversation with the person behind the counter, so get chatting, then get slippery!
Obviously, lingerie isn’t for everyone. But I believe in the “look good, feel good” mantra, and after all, isn’t feeling good what you’re reading this article for? There’s no one brand or style of lingerie I can recommend, as this, more than anything, is completely subjective. However, there’s no harm in taking a quick trip to your local sex shop with your partner to pick something out and enhance an already fun night. Or alternatively, surprise your partner with something you picked up on your own as a fun gift to share intimately. Hell, explore some roleplaying fantasies you might’ve been hesitant to give a try. The only limit is your imagination, so embark on a journey that is sexy from top to bottom!
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All in all, the most important aspect to enjoyable sex is finding what works best for you. The right fitting condom, a lube you love, and something sexy to wear are the basic pillars of sex and shared intimacy. Making things more enjoyable for you and your partner can only be beneficial, so what’s stopping you? Take a trip to your local sex shop and find the key to unlocking sex like you’ve never had before. What’s not to love?
Alex is a consultant at the oh zone stores sydney.