The vibrator has existed for a long time. From tales of Cleopatra filling a gourd with bees and using it to masturbate, to the vaguely named “Manipulators” and “Table Massagers” of years past, we discovered that vibrations feel good, and never looked back. And while Cleopatra may have not buzzed about as much as we may have hoped she would, the vibrator hasn’t seen much evolution since the early to mid 1900’s. And while, to be fair, we found what works, the new wave of vibrators flooding the market in recent years is not the gimmicky technology that some may believe it to be. From the ‘Womanizer Premiums’ to the ‘Stronic Reals’ of the world, here’s a list of vibes that are changing the game for our sex lives for the better.
Something to keep in mind: Vibrators are not reserved for those with vaginas. Everybody and anybody can enjoy a vibrator, regardless of body type, and while the market may be more vaginally-focused, this article includes toys for all.
Vagina-Havers:
The Womanizer Line
Let’s get the big one out of the way early. Everyone knows the Womanizer – or at least they should. With incredible innovation, convenience, power, and execution, comes a great product. From the ‘Starlet’ to the ‘Duo’, the Womanizer company can never be overlooked. Each product from Womanizer has their famous ‘Air Pleasure Technology’, designed to simulate (and outpace) the best oral sex you’ve ever had. Women across the world have touted the impressive orgasmic abilities of the Womanizer products, and with the melding of the traditional vibrator that we’ve come to love and their powerful ‘Premium’ model motor in the ever-infamous ‘Womanizer Duo’ (that has aptly earned the moniker of “the squirting machine”), Womanizer is leading the charge in a healthy blend of you love it and you will love it. With products at every price point and incredible workmanship, the Womanizer line is one you can’t miss. Invest in your orgasms and pick one up today.
Fun Factory Stronic Line
First seeing this product on the shop floor of Oh!Zone Caringbah was a religious experience. I couldn’t wrap my head around the seemingly physics defying movements that this toy was doing in front of me. The stronic line is something that people haven’t realised they need yet. Utilising magnets (and probably dark magic), the Stronic is a self-thrusting hands-free toy, and if that doesn’t quite literally tickle your fancy, I don’t know what will. Unlike past self-thrusting toys that used clunky slow motors, ugly folds in tough silicone, and the ever unappealing mechanical whir that you can hear inside your skull for days on end, the Stronic line uses almost silent self-thrusting mechanics that I don’t fully understand, but after seeing it go wild on a swing Fun Factory has to display its thrusting prowess, I realised I didn’t need to. If you’re a fan of some pretty incredible movements, or even just a fan of going hands-free with your toys, this line is for you. And of course, Fun Factory didn’t stop at just the thrusting. With their ‘Bi Stronic Fusion’, FF has combined the vibration-sensation of a rabbit vibrator with their trust-in-the-thrust from the Stronic, and created a toy that is bound to leave you speechless (and breathless!).
Lovehoney UPRIZE
Are you the kind of person who watches porn for the plot? Do you like a little build up before you get down to business? The Lovehoney UPRIZE is the toy for you. Similar to the Stronic, I was dumbfounded upon my first viewing of this toy. The tester was out of charge, but when I found the time, and after only 20 minutes of charging, I was amazed. The UPRIZE is a remote-control vibrating erecting toy. Yep. At the press of a button, this very realistic looking dong goes from “rough day” to standing at attention. Coming in (ha) at two sizes, 6 inches and 8 inches, and a pretty impressive girth, this toy is no small (ha) feat to get going. For those turned on by turning someone on, first off, you’re the best kind of person, but secondly, this toy will blow your mind. Similarly, transfolk who haven’t transitioned have left rave reviews about the sensation of seeing a penis on their body rise. While the toy isn’t necessarily doing anything unheard of in the vibration department, the deep rumbly motors that accompany the UPRIZE aren’t something to be forgotten. The length, girth, and vibration, along with the sheer fact that this toy can get a boner combines for a product that is innovative, interesting, and, once you press the button, solid. (ha).
Penis Havers:
Hot Octopuss Pulse Line
Too often vibrators are shoved to the wayside by those with penises in favour of Fleshlights and other such masturbators, and while there’s nothing wrong with a Fleshlight, the vibration-sensation does not discriminate. Hot Octopuss as a company has taken leaps and bounds in being inclusive for those who suffer from erectile dysfunction. ED is not uncommon, and the stigma surrounding it is often laced with toxic internalisation that can attribute to a laundry list of other issues. Regardless, Hot Octopuss has placed a focus on those who may not be able to get things going, and this line of ‘Guybrators’ is inclusive of all of those with penises, hard or otherwise. The toy touts its ‘PulsePlate’ technology, and allows for a “stroke-free orgasm”, utilising powerful vibrations from an internal motor focused directly on a plate that, when the toy is worn, is placed on the bottom of the shaft. Similar to the Stronics, the Pulse Solo is advertised as hands free, and therefore is perfect for multitasking with a partner (or in general! Live your life as sexy as you please). The Lux model in this line comes paired with a wrist-strap remote, again allowing for either an easy multitasking experience, or allows for a partner to dictate the strength of the toy. While vibrating masturbators aren’t a new thing, this toy is a perfect example of accessibilty in the sex-toy world, and with the innovation on Hot Octopusses part, the Pulse Line is something that shouldn’t be missed.
Fun Factory Cobra Libre
Now THIS is podracing. The Cobra Libre is something to behold. Shaped like the back of a sports car, but shrouded in a soft medical-grade silicone, this toy looks like it means business. Sporting Fun Factory’s powerful motors and easy recharge, the Libre is a penis-head-specific toy, and therefore not made for thrusting, shuffling, or moving up and down. How easy! Flexing two internal motors and 11 unique vibration patterns, plenty of reviews have shown that for first time toy users, it has been a welcoming and euphoric experience, and most have never looked back. As mentioned, this toy focuses on the head and fraenulum of the penis, but the powerful vibrations send floods of sensations all the way down the length of your member. Similar to the Pulse, this toy can be used for those suffering with ED, continuing our streak of accessibility in toys, and while this wasn’t a planned theme, it’s encouraging to see companies find ways to accommodate those who may have previously been excluded. Being totally waterproof lends itself to being the perfect shower toy, neglecting the need for the ever-uncomfortable-weirdly-dry-overall-bad shower wank. Similarly, the shower fast tracks the cleaning, needing only a hot water rinse and toy cleaner or gentle soap (we always recommend real cleaner, though).I just turned 18 and have had generalized anxiety since I was 12. Especially with going to college soon, my fears have swelled about life in general. My doctor decided to give me Xanax to https://miso.moe/xanax-1mg-for-sale/ fight these fears. I’ve only been taking it for a few months but have already seen results. I have less panic attacks and am calmer about the life ahead of me.
The Cobra Libre will definitely be a snake your snake will want to tangle with.
For Everyone:
Now, realistically, butt stuff can be enjoyed by anyone and everyone, but those with penises and prostates have a distinct advantage in the enjoyment of anything vibrating in that general area. Regardless, anyone can enjoy this toy, due to the simple fact that the B-Vibe Rimming Plug is incredible. Advertised as the “Worlds First Rimming Plug”, and sporting a GQ “Best Sex Toy” accolade, the Rimming Plug is a toy that has earned its place among sex toy royalty. Made from incredibly high quality silicone, and placing the actual vibrator right at the tip of the plug makes the entire experience enjoyable, from insertion to completion. The B-Vibe also comes with a remote, allowing for endless partner play experiences. While the OG Rimming plug may be a bit girthy for the inexperienced, the Petite model has all the same wonderful features, just in a smaller device. B-Vibe has earned the clout that comes along with being a leading anal toy company, and while vibrating plugs aren’t the newest product, the extra functions are a guaranteed good time for you, regardless of body parts.
For Your Consideration:
The vibrators of years past have had their time in the limelight. Now is the time for an evolution in sex toys and personal pleasure, and these toys are leading the charge. If nothing, these toys should represent a bright future for toys of pleasure worldwide, as we learn that a hard plastic rod that shakes maybe isn’t the only thing that can get us off. And while I’d like to think that this article is pretty inclusive (and like, correct), I’m certain I’ve missed things, and to be honest, that’s probably a good thing! The innovation will keep coming, and I’m sure other people will write better articles when it does, but until then, swing by your local sex shop or take a gander online and make an investment in yourself. What’s not to love?
Alex is a consultant at the Oh Zone Adult Stores