I definitely cannot speak for everyone when I talk about the luxury of living close to a romantic partner. The uncommon but ever desired ability to see a loved one whenever I choose, and in partnership with the ability to get down to business with my partner when we’re together, is a privilege that is not lost on me. A few of my closest friends have to deal with long-distance relationships, or the arguably more painful https://www.parentous.com/tramadol-no-prescription/, not-enough-time-in-the-day-to-see-you relationships. After a lengthy conversation with these close friends about what they can do to keep their… uh… you-know-whats you-know whatting while their partners aren’t right there next to them, I decided to share my insight into a few products that I have come across during my time as an adult store frequenter & employee, to try and help make the world a sexier place.
Part One: Toys For You
If you’re reading this article, there’s a good chance you already own a sex toy of some kind. Whether it be ye ol’ faithful vibrator, a classic fleshlight, or something on the premium side like a Womanizer or a Svakom Alex Thrusting Masturbator, you get the general gist of these sorts of things. They’re good for your you time. And although this isn’t necessarily the most revolutionary of ideas, it’s not too difficult to turn that you time into you two time. Share in each other’s pleasure, and make sure you’re both enjoying yourselves with the best toys available. For example:
The aforementioned Womanizer is at the forefront of changing the sex toy game. Stepping away from the traditional vibrators and dongs of years past, the Womanizer utilises gentle suction on the clitoris to provide a sensual blend of faux vibration, suction in all the right places, and precision that leaves nothing to be desired, hitting the spot every time. There’s a reason the Womanizer Duo has earned the moniker of “The Squirting Machine” .
Fun Factory Stronic Line
I remember first interacting with the stronic line from Fun Factory, and completely entranced by its seemingly supernatural back and forth thrusting action. For those unaware, the Stronic line from is an automatic thrusting toy that, well, thrusts itself. The stronic promises ‘hands-free fun’, and if that alone isn’t enticing, the ‘Stronic Real’ looks just like the real deal, all the while still being made from the Fun Factory famous surgical grade silicone. What’s not to love?
Svakom Alex Thrusting Masturbator
The Svakom Alex was pretty well summarised in an earlier article, but this product is so incredible, it needs to be discussed more than once. The Alex, as it will be called henceforth, is the penis-havers equivalent of the Stronic line from Fun Factory. The ability to go completely hands-free like an early 2000’s earpiece that every lucrative businessman had is a luxury few have experienced, and luxury it indeed is. The Alex is built with the best of fantasies in mind, with the stroking of the toy matched to an array of in-built sounds of fantasies for your enjoyment, or you can choose your speed to match your partner’s pleasure.
Fleshlight Brand Products
When it comes to Fleshlights, I always need to remind people that pleasuring yourself shouldn’t be frowned upon. Fleshlights have oft copped flak from the general public because of their perceived crudeness, but those people have clearly never actually tried a fleshlight! They’re the perfect tool to use over the phone with a lover on the other end. Fits in one hand, easy to clean, no electronics. Simple, sexy, sorted.
Part Two: Toys For Us
Before I go any further, it’s not US as in YOU and ME, it’s US as in YOU and YOUR PARTNER. Unless I am your partner. In which case, hi honey! Anyway, these are toys for you and your partner to experience together. These will be your remote-controlled/app-controlled/telepathically-controlled sorts of devices. For these sorts of toys, We-Vibe is leading the charge and innovating with some incredible new ideas and concepts that both you and your partner can enjoy. You may even be able to share a moment and learn how to find a porn star you like.
Now, it might be the fact that the poster for this product is staring me in the face as I write this, or the little things that make this an impressive product, but the Moxie is far and away the most discreet ‘secret fun’ toy you can have while out and about. Utilising We-Vibe’s app (but also coming with a handy-dandy remote), the Moxie uses magnets to keep itself fastened to the inside of your partner’s undergarments. It’s quaint, simple to use, has pretty solid battery life, and is one of those things you can forget about until the best moment. To keep your partner thinking about you while you (or they) are out and about, the Moxie is your toy.
We-Vibe was always going to be the vibe for this section. With their extensive array of toys for every situation, what’s not to love! When it comes to sharing pleasure, their family of toys that maintain a similar shape through different iterations (Match, Sync, and most recently the Chorus) is usually a big seller. And while these toys are great, they are all shaped to accommodate a penis in the mix as well, and while they’re all fantastic in their own right (the Chorus in particular!), in our scenario for this blog post, we, unfortunately, lack said penis in said mix. However, keep an eye out for an upcoming blog entry on the various toys in that range. Regardless, this paragraph is about the We-Vibe Jive. The Jive, similar to the Moxie can be controlled by the wonderful We-Vibe app, and the shape, along with the comfortable high-grade silicone, means it can be worn out and about. The Jive is, however, dissimilar to the Moxie in that the Jive is inserted into the vagina, as opposed to worn on your partner’s undergarments. It’s comfortably shaped, easy to use, and just as secretly sexy as the Moxie, but a little more fulfilling, if you catch my drift.
When I say We-Vibe will be the ideal toy for you and your partner to share, I meant it. The ditto is your stock-standard vibrating prostate massager, but just better in every way, as it not only vibrates against your prostate, it also vibrates against your perineum, or more crassly, your gooch. In doing so, it stimulates your senses in ways 5-Gum could only dream of. The Vector, just as all We-Vibe products, is rechargeable, and similarly, this one connects seamlessly with the app. With a spanning array of inbuilt vibration modes, but also the ability to manipulate the vibration with We-Connect
, it’s perfect for that cheeky time out and about where it would be just terrible if you or your partner were just a little distracted. Again, what’s not to love.
If you were thinking “surely he can’t choose a We-Vibe product again“, you were dead wrong. The Verge is just waiting to be your best friend in the bedroom and on the go. Made to be worn during sex, the Verge is a vibrating cock ring and perineum massager that doesn’t take up a lot of real estate where it counts. With the powerful motor’s ability to be positioned over the perineum or in line with where the clitoris would be during sex, the possibilities of pleasure are endless. Differing from the Verge’s cock-ring-cousin, the Pivot, the Verge is placed over the testes and shaft, as opposed to the Pivots shaft-only construction. This allows for a snug fit regardless of the hardness of you or your partner (however, while using the product, I can’t imagine things would be too soft for too long). It’s discreet, quiet, and easily hidden once it’s on, and along with the Vector, it could realistically be used in conjunction with some of the other toys mentioned on this list. It’s fun, cheeky, and ready to go when you are.
For Both of You (at the same time!):
KIIROO Couples Set (Onyx 2 & Pearl 2)
Now, I know this is a little wacky. Who would have thought something so technologically and sexualogically superior existed! For this, I step away from the ever-present We-Vibe (shocker, right?) and welcome something so impressive it sits in a locked glass cabinet in the adult store where I work; The KIIROO Couple Set, combining KIIROO’s Onyx 2 and Pearl 2 products. The weirdly pokemon themed toys are incredible in their own right. For the Pearl, it’s an impressively powerful vibrator that touts its versatility in compatibility with not only the Onyx (the penis equivalent toy), but any other KIIROO toys (allowing for any partner to interact with you, regardless of body parts), along with various applications, certain videos on your favourite porn sites, and certain VR environments that involve getting down and dirty. The pearl has 5 preset solo vibration modes, but the main attraction is the Bluetooth mode, allowing for some incredible long distance loving. Paired with the Onyx, the Pearl transmits the sensations the toy is experiencing (insertion-wise) and transmits them to the paired toy, allowing for some realistic and real-time long-distance relations. With an intuitive pairing process, and the ability to also use the toys solo, the KIIROO couples set is something that should definitely be on the shopping list.
Part Three: Why Wait?
Now, more than ever, there is less stigma around the usage of sex toys. Similarly, the technology and functionality of sex toys is at an all-time high, with brand new, exciting, sexy things just beyond the horizon. The toys mentioned in this post are incredible feats of technology, giving us the ability to interact with and enjoy our most personal and private moments while continents away. As the title says, long-distance doesn’t need to be the end of your sex life. In fact, it can be the door to a new beginning, opening a new dimension of intricacy to your love-making. Get down to business. Treat you and your partner to a present you’ll both love, and enjoy those late-night phone calls to your partner just a little bit more.
What’s not to love?
Alex is a consultant at the Oh Zone Adult Stores Sydney